Growing a Part

Life’s not easy when you serve a master
who’s genius burns like a brilliant flame
and although he causes each disaster
you’re always quite prepared to take the blame.

Take this latest case as an example
instead of digging up he chose to grow
a hydroponic arm within this ample
suspension of nutrients. See it glow.

So far so good. It’s floating in the tank.
But what happened when master’s plan got bolder?
I tried to warn him, but he will pull rank.
Now it’s my fault that we forgot the shoulder.

He’s docked my wages though they are quite meager
and told me in future to be more eager.

Securing Quality of Verse

QAP 1.1

1. Title

    Securing quality of verse

2. Description

    This procedure must be done
    for all poems submitted, long or terse,
    before deciding to accept or shun.

3. Purpose

    To spot the poems that will meet
    the standards that we set among ourselves
    ensuring that approved books hit the street
    and all the others never make the shelves.

4. Critical Activities

    4.1 Do not read
    the work of those you do not recognise.

    4.2 You must have lunch with authors, then proceed.

    4.3 If you suspect a message, close your eyes.

    4.4 Remember that art flourishes on greed
    and not on talent.

    4.5 You will only pass
    and approve grants for those who kiss your arse.

Ref: 001 Originated By: P. J. Rees Version: 1.0 Last Updated: 8 Jun 1996 Updated By: P. J. Rees

Free Verse

This critic told me I should write in rhyme
because the rigor of poetic form
insists that at the end of every line
a syllable should to “the scheme” conform.

The pedant said I should write three quatrains
that’s bunches of four lines to you and me
(a word game you can practice when it rains)
and the end rhymes must run a b a b.

The pratt went on to tell me that my feet
(where foot’s a bit of word with stress upon it)
should count to five in all lines on the sheet
and lo, behold, I then would have a sonnet.

I told him this all sounded quite perverse
and I will only ever write free verse.