Holy Triage

When Jesus was a health procurer
He spake to the rich and the poorer.
They brought him the sick,
the dead and the quick.
And Jesus said, “Who’s your insurer?”

Filed under: limerick, healing, healthcare, humour, insurance, Jesus, politics, triage

Haiku 20

i saw God today
He told me to say don’t listen
to me or to them

Filed under: haiku, God, humour, poetry

Relativity

It’s rather peculiar you know.
When you’re waiting time goes really slow,
but if you’re in a hurry,
a tizzy or flurry
it’s so fast things blur in a glow.

Filed under: limerick, humour, poetry, time

Beck Effect

Glen Beck has decided to sue
because of … you know what and who,
in the name of a site.
That’s not very bright.
Did Streisand tell him what to do?

Filed under: limerick, Glen Beck, humour, poetry

i accidentally …

the last of the coffee

your share of the chocolate

my diet

your patience

the lawn

a trip to the gym
(again)

that book you wanted

the gas bill

our local sub-station

the wrong beach

a vegetarian Risotto

my feelings

Filed under: free verse, humour, love, poetry

God Hates Hate

If it is true that your God hates hate
then I’m thinking that your God is great.
But if your God hates x
where that’s race, creed or sex;
I believe that it’s your hate you state.

Filed under: limerick, God, hate, humour

Haiku 2

sunday mourning groans
too many jobs, too little faith
for a day of rest

Filed under: haiku, humour

Growing a Part

Life’s not easy when you serve a master
who’s genius burns like a brilliant flame
and although he causes each disaster
you’re always quite prepared to take the blame.

Take this latest case as an example
instead of digging up he chose to grow
a hydroponic arm within this ample
suspension of nutrients. See it glow.

So far so good. It’s floating in the tank.
But what happened when master’s plan got bolder?
I tried to warn him, but he will pull rank.
Now it’s my fault that we forgot the shoulder.

He’s docked my wages though they are quite meager
and told me in future to be more eager.

Filed under: sonnet, humour, management, poetry

Securing Quality of Verse

QAP 1.1

1. Title Securing quality of verse 2. Description This procedure must be done for all poems submitted, long or terse, before deciding to accept or shun. 3. Purpose To spot the poems that will meet the standards that we set among ourselves ensuring that approved books hit the street and all the others never make the shelves. 4. Critical Activities 4.1 Do not read the work of those you do not recognise. 4.2 You must have lunch with authors, then proceed. 4.3 If you suspect a message, close your eyes. 4.4 Remember that art flourishes on greed and not on talent. 4.5 You will only pass and approve grants for those who kiss your arse.

Ref: 001 Originated By: P. J. Rees Version: 1.0 Last Updated: 8 Jun 1996 Updated By: P. J. Rees

Filed under: sonnet, BS 5750, criticism, humour, ISO 9000, quality

Free Verse

This critic told me I should write in rhyme
because the rigor of poetic form
insists that at the end of every line
a syllable should to “the scheme” conform.

The pedant said I should write three quatrains
that’s bunches of four lines to you and me
(a word game you can practice when it rains)
and the end rhymes must run a b a b.

The pratt went on to tell me that my feet
(where foot’s a bit of word with stress upon it)
should count to five in all lines on the sheet
and lo, behold, I then would have a sonnet.

I told him this all sounded quite perverse
and I will only ever write free verse.

Filed under: sonnet, criticism, form, humour, writing